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“Sure… sure…” the handsome one said, fishing into his wallet. “What happened, did your guy forget to stop at the drugstore?”“It’s for this competition. I don’t really know how to explain.”So his larger friend took over.“Oh it must be for the sorority, the one that publishes those porn videos…”“Kappa Delta!” The other friend chimed in. The attractive one had the condom in his hand. He was about to hand it to me when his friend pawed his hand. “What are you doing Kevin? Make her earn it.”“What?” Kevin said. “Yeah, she’s got to at least show you her tits.”“Do you know how hard it is to get into this outfit?” I protested. “Something else then,” the friend suggested. “Come on, please,” I whined, dropping into a baby girl voice. “I can’t be the last one to come back. I’ll be punished.”“So blow him.”“Fuck that, blow all of us. From what I heard, you Kappas are great at kneeling down.”The two shared a laugh. “I can’t…” I struggled for an excuse. “Where would we even…”“Over there,” and the. Then my boss gave me the kicker — I’d have to leave ina week. Great. That wouldn’t give me enough time to getanti-malaria shots and have them take effect. I eyed himwith thoughts of mercenaries and torture flittingthrough my head, but the bonus money won out. Besides,there was a certain James Bond-ish thrill to the wholeidea of going down there. My roommate didn’t see it that way when I got back tothe apartment. “Colombia? As in drug cartels?!?” Headded several pithy comments casting doubt on both myparentage and my sanity, concluding with “Guess I’ll seeyou in the remake of Midnight Express.” Over the next week I arranged to put my email lists onvacation status, checked the Web on what to eat, drinkand avoid, and crammed a week’s worth of business casualinto one piece of luggage. I’d have to use my laptopcarrier for medicines and papers so I could get underthe two-item carryon limit and not have to check anyluggage..
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